A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot
~Ecclesiastes 3:2
I have been in a season of dying to myself and my own desires while uprooting from all familiarties. Hence the verse above that really explains my Journey to IHOP. As many of you know, I have been at the International House Of Prayer (IHOP) in Kansas City since April 5th! You can check out the prayer room at http://www.ihop.org/ if you would like! I highly recommend it! IHOP is night and day prayer and worship!!! Some of you may not know why I am here or what I do here, so this post will fill you in a little bit! :)
Let's go back to December...I went to the One Thing conference in December. It's a conference that is held by IHOP. This is what I thought IHOP was, a yearly conference. haha Little did I know that it was much more than a conference. This particular conference is held like the last four days of the year. It was AMAZING bringing in the New Year worshipping! Any who, the Lord led me to check out an information meeting about the internships at IHOP. I found out that yes, indeed there are people that pray and worship day and night!
While I was in the information meeting the Lord began to tug on my heart and I began to pray for a clarity. I felt like the Lord wanted me to come do an internship. So, as I am sitting there praying and talking it over with my friend, a lady comes up and introduces herself and ask if we have any questions. Bahaha OH I had questions! So she began answering them and I am still praying in my head and I ask the Lord, Lord please, if you desire for me to go have this lady pray with us. Well no sooner than I pray this, the lady says can I pray for you. haha So I told the Lord once again, Lord please if you want me to go please clearly tell me. Well the lady started praying and the Lord gave me a clear picture of the word "come" written in the clouds (thought picture in my head). Then He gave me a picture of like a silhouette head and told me "gaze upon me." Woah! haha So I said Lord, is this just me, is this satan teasing me, or is this really you? haha Sounds silly but those questions really went through my head so I asked the Lord. As I asked the Lord (IN MY HEAD!), the lady praying proceeds to say yes, Lord we know what you are putting on our hearts is from you, it is not because of our desires, it is not because of satan, but it is truly you Lord. AHHHH! AHH was my first thought. Like, really Lord you want me to "come, gaze upon you" at IHOP? The answer was for sure a yes, which led to the next few months of asking the Lord when and how.
The best way I can explain January-March is like this: You know when you are dating someone and they call you and say, hey get ready because I am going to pick you up in thirty minutes but it's a surprise! You get all excited and say ok and you get ready. You hop in the car and they start driving and then like reality sets in. You start asking questions like: Where are we going? How far is it? Do we have enough gas? Do we have enough money? Did I dress appropriately? Do you have a map? Is there enough time? Are you sure you know where you are going? They just simply look at you and say yes, I have everything under control, trust me, relax. Welp, this is how I felt those three months. I said yes Lord I am ready to go gaze upon you and then I had all these questions and the Lord looked at me and said, Casondra I really do have everything under controlm, trust me.
The Lord was so faithful, gentle, and patient with me. Praise Him! haha It takes a lot to be patient with me and all my questions but He truly is phenomenal! The Lord ALWAYS has all the logistics figured out, far better than imaginable! He provided an amazing contact within a couple of weeks (maybe one week) of saying yes to Him. He provided a random check in the mail in March (sounds crazy but it was for real). By the end of March He provided me with housing in Kansas City and a friend booked/bought my plane tickets to and from Kansas City! By the time I left I had enough money for one month. So in my mind I was totally fine with just staying in Kansas City for one month if that was what they Lord desired, but deep down I knew without a doubt the Lord desired me to stay for the three month internship. So, I came faithfully and peacefully. The peace truly is something that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) especially because it seemed crazy to go to an unknown place without the finances already available. To our human minds and our human wisdom, yes it is very crazy. I had been praying about it and the Lord told me He would take care of everything because it is what He desired of me. So He gave me a peace that launched me to "come gaze upon Him!" I am currently in the Intro to IHOP-KC internship and I finish up my three months on June 24th.
I am running along side some amazing people with a goal being to have true intimacy with the Lord! IT'S FABULOUS! I get to pray (interceed) for so many different things that are on my heart and on the Lords heart. It has made me realize in a much deeper way then before, the power and importance of prayer. The importance of conversation with the Lord. Conversation goes both ways, not one way. He has shown me in the past the power of prayer but being here and realizing how little I actually prayed before coming, has made me desire more of Him in a new way. I say this because we all need to be setting chuncks of time aside to pray (interceed) for people that do not know the Lord, the sick, the blind, the poor (both in spirit and financially), and we really need to be praying for our families. The Lord is the only one that can do anything about the above but He desires to use us as partners in these things! His scriptures are filled with His desire for us to pray and go out and do the things He calls us to do. The Lord has really given me a new perspective. My goodness, I love Him! I have also really been studying revelations in my classes! This is probably one of my favorite teachings here! I am in classes about three hours a day and in the prayer room about 4 to 5 hours a day. We also serve in various areas such as ushering in services and conferences as well as working with kiddos! Every Sunday morning I work with the little 19mts to 24mts! I have really enjoyed these little ones because it is amazing to watch them learn the things we teach them for one, but it is also great to receive so many hugs since I am away from my family! hehe Yes, I love my hugs!
As you follow my blog, I will tell you about how the Lord truly has provided for EVERYTHING! I will also tell you what I have been learning while here! After I get through all this, I will begin telling you how the Lord has lead me to China! So, I will be posting a lot of posts because I am beyond excited about everything the Lord is doing! Just a side note: I do write a lot...I will try to condense my writting but I can't guarentee anything! ;)
For Such A Time As This
~Esther 4:14b
My Prayer For Us
Dearly Beloved, I thank you that you ask us to come gaze upon you wherever we are. Lord, I thank you that you are always available to talk to and have a conversation with. I thank you that you speak to each of us so uniquely. Almighty Beloved, I thank you for your unconditional love and your sweet, gentle, patient, and faitfhful spirit. Lord, we come to you right now and ask for clarity in our next steps and we ask for boldness and courage to do the things that you put on our hearts. Beloved, we trust your leadership. Lord, you are trustworthy and we place our lives under your leadership. Thank you Beloved for all that you have done, all that you are doing, and all that you will do. Most of all, thank you that you are coming back for us soon! We love you Lord! Amen
